The Crow(2024) Review

 

There's a reason why this movie has been in developmental hell for close to 20 years. This is the movie franchise no one wanted to be in or direct. Since 2009, a Crow reboot has had multiple people drop in and out. Here's a comprehensive list:

Most people didn't want to compete with the original film because it's considered a cult classic due to the untimely on set death of star Brandon Lee, and its gritty gothic take of the James O'Barr graphic novel. People involved from the original movie such as director Alex Proyas, stars Ernie Hudson & Rochelle Davis were vehemently against this movie. Hell even Shannon Lee voiced her opinion over this reboot! But some brave soul decided to go against the grain and make this movie, so here we are.

The Review:

My expectations for this movie were extremely low. I mean really low. When I saw the trailer months ago, I thought to myself "Yea this is going to fucking suck". But I like to torture myself at times for the sake of art. Bill Skarsgard is a good actor man. I liked him since his Hemlock Grove days. He's a bonafide legend in his own right due to portraying the killer supernatural clown Pennywise. But I have no idea why he signed on to play Eric Draven after so many failed attempts to reboot this franchise. This movie couldn't be any different from the original movie. The original film was about a musician avenging the death of himself and his fiancee who were killed the night before they were to be married. This movie is about two junkies who met in rehab, fell in love a week after meeting, and Eric is avenging the death of a chick who brutally murdered someone I think(It's not too clear because I went to get pretzel bites) The aesthetic of Eric Draven/Crow is all wrong in this film. He looks like if Post Malone & Machine Gun Kelly had a baby. But that's not the only issue with the movie. Bill's co-star FKA Twigs is a terrible actress. Her lines were cringe every time she opened her mouth. It's almost like the writer of this movie was attempting to make her sound Shakespearean. 

I should've known the movie was going to be on some bullshit when I came back from the bathroom and I saw this dude in a flashback scene trying to save his dead horse who got caught in barbwire. This movie was bad bro. Might be on my list of worst movies I've ever seen in my life. People were walking out before the credits rolled. The movie underperformed at our theater so much that the movie was moved from an auditorium that seated 80 people to a theater that seated only 39. 

If this movie weren't called The Crow it probably wouldn't even be getting the hate that it's getting right now. They should've just called it "Junkies In Love". But with that said here's my final verdict:

The Crow(2024) gets a 1 out of 5(Only got an 1 because the soundtrack was dope, and some of the kills were gnarly.)

Save your money. If you really want to see this abomination stream it on Kodi. Peace.